Decisions and changes · 10 to 15 minutes
CBT pros and cons worksheet
When you're stuck on a decision, or in two minds about changing something, your thoughts can go round in circles. Writing down the pros and cons lets you see everything at once, notice what matters most to you, and choose a next step with a clearer head.
When it can help
- When you're stuck on a decision and keep going back and forth
- When part of you wants to change a habit, and part of you doesn't
- When worry or avoidance is making a choice feel bigger than it is
- Before talking a decision through with someone you trust
Two ways to use it
The pros and cons list
Two columns, for a choice: the pros and cons of doing it. Quick to fill in, and good for a one-off decision.
The four boxes
For a change you're thinking about: the pros and cons of changing, and of staying as you are. Staying the same usually has pros too, and seeing them helps explain why change can feel hard.
How to fill in the four boxes
Set aside 10 to 15 minutes somewhere quiet. You can use the printable worksheets, or a notebook.
1: Name it
Write the change you're thinking about at the top, in a few words.
2: Pros of changing
What might be better if you made the change, now and later?
3: Cons of changing
What might be harder, or what worries you about it?
4: Pros of staying as you are
What does staying the same give you, even if it isn't working overall?
5: Cons of staying as you are
What does carrying on as you are cost you?
6: Rate it, then look back
Rate how much each point matters to you, from 0 to 10. What stands out?
An example
Here's how the four boxes might look for someone who keeps taking on extra work. The numbers are how much each point matters to them, from 0 to 10.
The changeSaying no when I'm asked to take on extra work
If I change
Pros
- More time in the evenings
- Less tired
- Feeling more in control
Cons
- My manager might be disappointed
- I'll feel guilty at first
If I stay as I am
Pros
- No awkward conversations
- People see me as reliable
Cons
- Exhausted and snappy at home
- Stopped seeing friends
What stands out: Staying the same costs me most. Next step: Say no to one extra task this week.
It isn't about adding up a score. One point that matters a lot can outweigh several small ones. The aim is to see the whole picture.
Using the two-column list instead
Write the choice at the top, then list the pros of doing it in one column and the cons in the other. Rate how much each one matters, from 0 to 10, and look back over it in the same way.
When you've filled it in, ask yourself
- Which points matter most to me, and why?
- Which are facts, and which are worries about what might happen?
- What does staying as I am give me, and is there another way to get it?
- What is one small step I could take this week?
Helpful tips
- Write down everything that comes to mind, even points that seem small or silly.
- Think about the short term and the long term. Avoiding something often feels better now and worse later.
- If you feel stuck, ask what you'd say to a friend in the same position.
- You don't have to decide straight away. Coming back to it another day can help.
- Keep it, and look at it again later. Your ratings may change as things move on.
- If the same decision keeps going round in your head, that's something we could explore together in counselling.
A gentle note
These tools aren't a replacement for counselling or medical care. If something here brings up a lot for you, it's okay to stop. You don't have to work through things on your own.
More free resources
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
A simple exercise that uses your senses to bring you back to the present when anxiety or panic takes hold.
Box breathing
A steady four-count breathing pattern that helps calm your body when you're anxious or stressed.
Mood diary
A simple daily record to help you notice how your mood changes, spot patterns and see what helps.
You don't have to work through it alone
If you'd like to talk things through with someone, your first 50-minute session is on me, in person in Leigh-on-Sea, online or by phone.